Pope Francis is Dead; Vatican Eyes Muslim Imam for Papacy Celebrity Deaths

Pope Francis is Dead; Vatican Eyes Muslim Imam for Papacy

This morning, Pope Francis met a tragic end when his Popemobile careened off a Roman cliff during a reckless joyride through the Eternal City. The Vatican has classified the incident as an accident, but the true shockwave comes from a revolutionary announcement that has rocked the Christian world. Defying centuries of tradition, the College of ..

Val Kilmer Dead At 65 Blog

Val Kilmer Dead At 65

All doors have finally closed on actor Val Kilmer, who wheezed his last breath Tuesday in Los Angeles after a long battle with tuberculosis. Of course, Val will best be remembered for his roles in the critically acclaimed cinematic masterpieces “Top Secret!” and “Batman Forever”, as well as the intense, sweaty, homoerotic chemistry he brought ..

Michelle Trachtenberg And Gene Hackman Deaths Connected To A Celeb Serial Killer? Blog

Michelle Trachtenberg And Gene Hackman Deaths Connected To A Celeb Serial Killer?

The Zionist entertainment industry was shaken this week by the sudden passing of two beloved actors: Gene Hackman, the legendary Oscar-winning star, and Michelle Trachtenberg, known for her roles in “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” and “Gossip Girl”. While at first glance, their deaths may appear unrelated, some eerie coincidences have raised questions about a potential ..

James Earl Jones Dead At 93 Blog

James Earl Jones Dead At 93

Baritone black man actor James Earl Jones has tragically died today at the tender age of 93. While authorities have not yet released a cause of death, there is talk that they have not ruled out foul play… And that they are actively looking to speak to the “person of interest” pictured below. Regardless of ..

O.J. Simpson Dead At 76 Blog

O.J. Simpson Dead At 76

Beloved American sportsball player and actor O.J. Simpson has died today at the tender age of 76 as a result of hand suffocation from wearing gloves that were two sizes too small. Of course O.J. Simpson will best be remembered for his brutal running style, as he slashed and cut his way through defenses while ..

Matthew Perry Dead At 54 Blog

Matthew Perry Dead At 54

Could Matthew Perry BE less alive? No, no he couldn’t, as the actor passed away earlier today at his North Hollywood duplex home. Of course Matthew Perry will best be remembered for playing the extremely flamboyant homosexual “man about town” Chandler Bong on the hit infidel sitcom “Sex in the City”. And while a cause ..

Stephen Hawkings Dead At 76 Blog

Stephen Hawkings Dead At 76

Smart-ass crippled scientist Stephen Hawkings has tragically died today at the age of 76. Stephen was kite surfing off of the coast of the Seychelles when according to witnesses he attempted a risky quadruple front roll and lost control causing him to crash down in a big bang upon a set of jagged rocks. Fortunately ..

Playboy Founder Hugh Hefner Dead At 91 Blog

Playboy Founder Hugh Hefner Dead At 91

Legendary pornographer Hugh Hefner died today at the tender age of 91-years-old. According to a Playboy representative Hugh passed peacefully in his home, and it was the first time in decades that he was stiff in bed without the use of Viagra. Of course Hugh was a maverick and an innovator in the adult entertainment ..

Alan Thicke Dead At 69 Blog

Alan Thicke Dead At 69

Beloved TV dad and “IRS Fresh Start Initiative” spokesman Alan Thicke has died. Of course Alan Thicke is best known for his portrayal of the “Tool Man” Dr. Jason Seaver on the hit 1980’s TV show “Growing Pains”. Alan started experiencing chest pains earlier today after he fixed up his wife’s garbage disposal with “more ..

Prince Dead At 57 Blog

Prince Dead At 57

The beloved infidel minstrel Prince was just found dead in his home in Minnesota. He was just 57-years-old. While no official cause of death has been reported yet, I think anyone who knows Prince’s music will agree that he almost certainly died either by suffocation by velvet, a ruptured rectum from a gigantic oddly shaped ..

David Bowie Is Dead From Ass Cancer At 69 Blog

David Bowie Is Dead From Ass Cancer At 69

British homoqueer singer David Bowie succumbed to his battle with malignant ass cancer and died earlier today in his London home at the age of 69. David Bowie will forever be remembered for his significant contribution to the pop music scene in the 1980’s. First with heading up the boy band “Wham!”, and later when ..

Robin Williams Dead, Suicide Note Leaked Blog

Robin Williams Dead, Suicide Note Leaked

Beloved entertainer Robin Williams was found dead in his Northern California home earlier today in an apparent suicide by auto-erotic asphyxiation. Of course Robin Williams is best known as a member of the early 90’s British pop group “Take That”. Later Robin would launch a very successful solo career in the UK, dominating the music ..

Philip Seymour Hoffman Found Dead At 46 Blog

Philip Seymour Hoffman Found Dead At 46

Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in his New York City apartment earlier today with a heroin needle stuck in his arm… police haven’t ruled out foul play. Of course Philip Seymour Hoffman had an illustrious career in Hollywood starring in such films as “Rain Man”, “Kramer vs. Kramer”, and “Tootsie”, but he will ..

‘Uncle Phil’ James Avery Dead At 65 Blog

‘Uncle Phil’ James Avery Dead At 65

James Avery, the actor who played Uncle Phil on “The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air”, died today at the age of 65. No word yet on James Avery’s cause of death, but police have not ruled out foul play and are reportedly interested in questioning one “DJ Jazzy Jeff” on his whereabouts. James Avery is survived ..

Nelson Mandela Dead At 95 Blog

Nelson Mandela Dead At 95

Nelson Mandela, the voice of such iconic characters as Darth Vader from “Star Wars” and Mufasa from “The Lion King”, died today at the age of 95. No official word yet on what caused the 95-year-old Mandela to pass away, so foul play, auto-erotic asphyxiation, and suicide over Paul Walker’s car crash are certainly still ..

Paul Walker Killed In Car Crash Caught On Video Blog

Paul Walker Killed In Car Crash Caught On Video

Paul Walker died today in a car accident in Southern California. According to multiple sources Paul Walker and another person in the car were killed when he somehow lost control and slammed into a post. Of course the irony of Paul Walker dying in a car accident isn’t missed by many, as Paul famously starred ..

‘Glee’ Star Cory Monteith’s Death Being Made Into A Movie Blog

‘Glee’ Star Cory Monteith’s Death Being Made Into A Movie

“Glee” star Cory Monteith’s untimely death from a heroin and alcohol overdose earlier this week is being made into a movie. The film tentatively titled “Zero Dark Cory”, will be a lighthearted musical (of course) cataloging Cory’s meteoric rise from being a homoqueer drug addict in the frozen land of Canada, to being a singing ..

James Gandolfini Dead At 51 Blog

James Gandolfini Dead At 51

Actor James Gandolfini suffered a massive heart attack and died earlier today at the age of 51. Of course James Gandolfini is best known for playing a wizard in “The Lord of the Rings” trilogy, as well as in the new film “The Hobbit”. James Gandolfini is survived by his wife Deborah Lin, 5 calzones, ..