Philip Seymour Hoffman Found Dead At 46

Actor Philip Seymour Hoffman was found dead in his New York City apartment earlier today with a heroin needle stuck in his arm… police haven’t ruled out foul play.

Of course Philip Seymour Hoffman had an illustrious career in Hollywood starring in such films as “Rain Man”, “Kramer vs. Kramer”, and “Tootsie”, but he will best be remembered for being tremendously “Jewy”.

Services will be held tomorrow at Temple Beth-El Torah. It will be a traditional Jewish funeral service in which Philip Seymour Hoffman’s body will be ground up into a fine powder and snorted by the Temple elders while they sacrifice a Palestinian child to Satan, followed by light snacks in the rec room.