Hulk Hogan Dead, The Iron Sheik Gets the Last Laugh

Hulk Hogan dropped dead today at the age of 71, and his longtime rival The Iron Sheik is no doubt laughing his ass off in his opulent Tehran palace.

Of course, many will claim that it was Hulk Hogan’s love of taking his “vitamins” that caused his heart to fail, but we know that it was none other than the haunting memory of The Iron Sheik’s camel clutch breaking his back and humbling him that finally drained his remaining will to live. That fateful moment in the ring, when The Sheik made the Hulkster squeal like a spandex-clad piglet, drained the last dregs of his patriotic bravado, leaving him a husk of a man, haunted by the specter of his own defeat.

Now let the Hulkster’s death serve as a warning to all patriotic flag-waving American loudmouths, that in the end, it is us mighty Muslims who will triumph. Your country is nearing collapse, and it will soon be down for the count. So whatcha gonna do, brothers, when us mujahideen run wild on you?!?