Dead Ted Kennedy Jokes

Ted Kennedy the beloved murdering alcoholic from Massachusetts has died of brain cancer. Let us honor his memory with some dead Ted Kennedy jokes.

• What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Teddy Kennedy? About 2 months of decay!
• Ted Kennedy has been sober for 12 hours now.
• Ted Kennedy carries on the tradition of his brothers by dying with something lodged in his brain.
• What did Teddy tell Mary Jo when he found out she was pregnant? We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.
• I wonder if Ted Kennedy’s funeral will be open bar?
• Ted also had a plan to stimulate the Auto industry but his program was called “cash for kerplunkers”.
• How did people find out Ted was dead? He didn’t show up to the bar this morning.
• I’d rather go hunting with Cheney than driving with Ted Kennedy.
• Ted Kennedy never became president because unlike George Washington, he couldn’t cross a river.
• Ted is dead, its all just water under the bridge now.
• With news of Ted’s death, the Massachusetts liquor industry is now going to need a bailout.
• What’s black, white and hungry? Ted Kennedy’s cat!