Jay Leno Rapes Orangutan

Now that he is done fucking Conan O’Brien by banishing him to TBS, Jay Leno has moved onto a new redheaded target – the orangutan. A “60 Minutes” undercover investigation found that Leno, unsatisfied with the ass f*cking of O’Brien, has been sneaking into the LA Zoo late at night and repeatedly raping what zookeepers describe as a young, hip orangutan.

“Jay Leno has a history of aggression towards redheads,” said Scott ‘Carrot Top’ Thompson. “First he f*cks  David Letterman out of ‘The Tonight Show’ and then Conan. Now he’s raping orangutans? What’s next? Throwing his own feces at the Wendy’s girl?”

Attorneys for Leno have been tight lipped, electing not to comment other than to say that when the truth comes out the public will learn that the ass raping was consensual.

O’Brien responded to the news on his Twitter page, simply stating, “I always knew Jay was a motherf*cker, but I never knew he was a monkeyf*cker too. Must be a hack comic thing.”