Illegal Alien Selena Gomez Lands Job In Kitchen

Things haven’t been so easy for Selena Gomez since the coyote smuggled her and her family across the US-Mexican border all those years ago.

Instead of finding a land of opportunity Selena Gomez found moral degradation as she prostituted herself through the Disney channel just to make ends meet. Her descent into sin continued as she engaged in various lesbian affairs with the likes of Demi Lovato and Justin Bieber to keep her name in the papers.

However this story appears to have a happy ending. After years of dwelling in darkness Selena Gomez has found the light and landed a cushy job as a kitchen hand in a rich white woman’s home.

As you can see in the picture above Selena Gomez is finally behaving like a respectful young illegal Mexican immigrant should, and she couldn’t be happier working for the Johnson family who generously offered to pay Selena $2 an hour as well as provide her with a comfy broom closet in which to sleep.

Yes finally Selena Gomez is living the American dream. Let us hope she takes the next few years to repent for her sins… just as long as she does it on her own time the Johnson family isn’t paying her to dilly-dally after-all.