Blog
Democratic Representative and Twilight star John Murtha died on Monday at the age of 77, according to media reports. He had been suffering complications after a gallbladder surgery. A retired Marine and a vociferous critic of the Iraq War, Murtha was set to appear in this year’s Twilight sequel, Twilight: Eclipse. He was cast as ..
Blog
“Pants on the Ground” singer and “American Idol” sensation Larry Platt was found dead last night outside a convenience store in downtown Atlanta. According to witnesses at the store, Platt was beaten to death by a group of young men who were loitering in the store’s parking lot. “There were six or seven gang bangers ..
Blog
Haiti’s airport can only handle 130 flights a day. Thank God one of those precious flights was reserved for actor John Travolta. John Travolta has flown aid supplies to Haiti in his own Boeing 707 to assist his fellow Scientologists already on the ground helping the earthquake victims. Dressed in yellow T-shirts, Scientologists use a ..
Blog
CelebJihad.com has learned that Academy Award winning director Steven Spielberg is a Jew! Our seven-month long undercover investigation has confirmed that Spielberg, who is currently warping up post-production work on HBO’s World War II epic “The Pacific,” is a member of the Zionist-criminal cabal. While details are still sketchy, we can only assume that Spielberg, ..
Blog
In an effort to boost sagging ratings, Jay Leno will bang Conan O’Brien’s wife when his show returns to the 11:30 pm time slot after the Winter Olympics. NBC executives have confirmed that Leno will bang Elizabeth Powell, O’Brien’s wife of over seven years and the mother of his two children, for a half hour. ..
Blog
The results are in, and alleged al Qaeda member and would-be suicide bomber Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab has been voted 2009’s Sexiest Man Alive by CelebJihad.com readers. His wealth, good looks, and fanatical devotion to Jihad were the top-three reasons readers cited when choosing Abdulmutallab. Abdulmutallab narrowly edged out George Clooney, who was the runner up. ..
Blog
TMZ has reportedly found a picture from the 1950’s of John F. Kennedy on a boat filled with naked women. The picture shows two naked women jumping off the boat (presumably to escape), and two more naked women sunning on the top deck (presumably too frozen by fear to attempt an escape). Just below the ..
Blog
There has been a lot of talk recently about the new James Cameron movie “Avatar”. Some people think it is a revolutionary work of art, others think it is complete crap. Instead of possibly wasting your time and money actually going to see this questionable film we have provided an image that summarizes the movie ..
Blog
Christmas came early for Tiger Woods this year when actress Brittany Murphy died suddenly in her LA home. Tiger and his harem of skanks who had been dominating the headlines the last couple weeks were instantly wiped off the front page as Brittany chased the dragon one to many times. Brittany Murphy’s death looks like ..
Blog
Actress Brittany Murphy the star of such movies as “Clueless” and “8 Mile” died today at the age of 32. Brittany Murphy’s mom discovered her unconscious in the shower. A 911 call was made at 8:00 AM from her Los Angeles home. When paramedics arrived, they quickly determined Murphy was in full cardiac arrest and ..
Blog
James Cameron’s Avatar opened last night, and audiences were blown away by the audaciousness of the film. In particular, moviegoers seemed both shocked and dismayed by the film’s twist ending in which it is revealed that the planet Pandora was actually Earth all along. Other surprising scenes included a sequence in which it is revealed ..
Blog
Rumor has it that singer Adam Lambert is close to inking a seven-figure deal to host a show on Nickelodeon aimed at teens. If our sources are accurate, the show, tentatively titled “The Adam Lambert Feel Good Rainbow Teen Diversity Hour,” will showcase Adam’s singing and dancing abilities while simultaneously combating heteronormative attitudes among teens ..
Blog
Team Edward was dealt a tremendous blow today as starting left tackle Laquisha Adams had to be helped off the practice field with what looked like a groin injury. The offensive line was performing blocking drills when Laquisha fell to the ground riving in pain and clutching her “special spot”. Team doctors don’t know the ..
Blog
Well it is getting to be that time of year again when Christians run out and spend money to celebrate the birth of their Jew God. Personally I don’t understand it. If your savior is a Jew shouldn’t you be honoring him by opening up savings accounts and clipping coupons? Anyway a lot of people ..
Blog
Time to call the Undertaker, because sources are reporting that Umaga, the WWE wrestler, has died. Reports indicate that he fell asleep on his couch and never woke up, which is not exactly the death of a warrior. If true, we mourn with his family. Although when it comes to wresting, there is only one ..
Blog
(UPDATE – The Updated 2010 version of the All Criminal Team has found a new home at Holy Taco. We will no longer disgrace our holy site with your brutal pagan sports). NFL players have committed a lot of crimes since 2005’s NFL All-Criminal Team, so the roster is in need of an update. Some ..
Blog
Chuck Lambert, father of “American Idol” runner up Adam Lambert, is not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Sources close to Chuck, a retired union electrician, say that Adam’s recent performance at the American Music Awards has sent him into a tailspin. “Ya see that guy on T.V. prancing around like Elton John and making out with ..
Blog
As hormonally charged teen girls and emotionally stunted women pile into theaters to see the new Twilight movie “New Moon”, the trailer for the next Twilight movie “Vampires In Heat” was just released to the Internet. This movie looks awesome! And by awesome I mean erotic. There is nothing more sexually appealing then a bunch ..
Jenna Ortega
Sydney Sweeney
Kylie Jenner
Scarlett Johansson
Megan Fox
Billie Eilish
Sofia Vergara
Katy Perry
Elizabeth Olsen
Jennifer Aniston
Jennifer Lawrence
Kim Kardashian
Ana de Armas
Selena Gomez
Margot Robbie
Millie Bobby Brown
Alexandra Daddario
Zendaya
Salma Hayek
Jennifer Lopez