CelebJihad.com Issues Fatwa Against South Park Creators

CelebJihad.com Issues Fatwa Against South Park Creators

There has been a lot of ink from the mainstream Jew media bashing our brethren at RevolutionMuslim.com for making a post suggesting that Muslims should kill South Park creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker for their most recent blasphemous episode in which they depict the blessed Prophet Mohammed in a bear costume. Though most of ..

Hugh Jackman Contracts Nasty Case Of Down Syndrome

Hugh Jackman Contracts Nasty Case Of Down Syndrome

Actor and masturbation fodder for middle aged women, Hugh Jackman has contracted a nasty case of down syndrome. As is evident from the photo above Hugh is now a full on tard. Hugh was seen playing in the ocean waves for over an hour before eating a fist full of sand then falling asleep for ..

James Van Der Beek & Girlfriend Expecting a Bastard Child

James Van Der Beek & Girlfriend Expecting a Bastard Child

James Van Der Beek and his girlfriend, Kimberly Brook, are expecting a bastard child this fall, CelebJihad has confirmed. The 33-year-old actor confirmed the putrid abomination against Allah on his Twitter. “Yes, it’s true – the woman I love and I are expecting our first child,” he defiantly wrote, mocking sharia law. “Experiencing joy on ..

Jay Leno Admits April Fool’s Joke: Only Conan Got Screwed

Jay Leno Admits April Fool’s Joke: Only Conan Got Screwed

Funny man Jay Leno has done it again with another hilarious joke at Conan O’Brien’s expense. During an interview with noted Mossad agent Joy Behar, Leno claimed that both he and Conan “got screwed” by NBC. But just hours later, Leno explained that it was an April Fool’s joke, and that clearly Conan was the ..

Ricky Martin Is NOT Gay

Ricky Martin Is NOT Gay

For the first time in 50 years Ricky Martin made headlines yesterday with the announcement that he is a “gay”. Nice try Mr Martin but I think I’d know a gay man when I see one and you sir are no gay. First off you are far too muscly to be a gay. Gays are ..

Playgirl Offers Jesse James $500,000 To Pose Nude

Playgirl Offers Jesse James $500,000 To Pose Nude

Playgirl magazine is reportedly offering serial adulterer Jesse James, $500,000 to pose nude in its magazine. Because if there is one thing that gets women turned on, it is a cheating husband especially if he has been accused of sexually harassing and even raping women. Jesse James may be what some people would call “fugly”, ..

12 Anti-Irish Cartoons for St. Patrick’s Day

12 Anti-Irish Cartoons for St. Patrick’s Day

Immigrants often get a bad rap in the West. For the most part, it’s undeserved. A few bad apples (like myself) blow up a bus, behead a cartoonist, or set an unchaste woman on fire, and everyone overreacts and screams for deportations. It’s ridiculous. After all, if we are all deported, who will do the ..

Corey Feldman Found Alive

Corey Feldman Found Alive

Former child star Corey Feldman was found alive this morning outside of a Norm’s Restaurant in Los Feliz, according to the LAPD. Police tell us they were called to the diner shortly before 8 AM PT to investigate. Police were shocked to find that Feldman was responsive. The actor refused the officers repeated attempts to ..

Larry King Outlives Corey Haim

Larry King Outlives Corey Haim

Actor Corey Haim was found dead this morning in his Burbank apartment. The mainstream media will tell you that the 80’s heartthrob died of an “accidental drug overdose,” the same excuse they always use when a cover up is afoot. But the fact of the matter is that Corey, like so many of his celebrity ..

Ben Roethlisberger Claims He was Sexually Assaulted

Ben Roethlisberger Claims He was Sexually Assaulted

MILLEDGEVILLE, Ga. – Pittsburgh Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger told police that a 20-year-old college student sexually assaulted him in the women’s room of a Milledgeville, Ga nightclub on Friday. Law enforcement sources tell CelebJihad that Roethlisberger claims he was inside the women’s restroom, “sitting down to have a pee pee” like he always does, when ..

10 Fatass Oscar Winners

10 Fatass Oscar Winners

When you think of Oscar night, images of fake-breasted starlets in low-cut dresses and chiseled–jawed actors in tuxedos probably come to mind. On the contrary, the image of a greased up fatass being wedged into whatever outfit was available at the big-and-tall store usually isn’t associated with the Academy Awards. But from time to time, ..

The Jonas Brothers Molest A Fat Man

The Jonas Brothers Molest A Fat Man

Wow just look at this picture of the Jonas Brothers attacking a fat man on the beach. These little punks think that because they are celebrities they can do whatever they want. From what I can gather from this picture Jonas Brothers, Nick and older brother Ugly Jonas were walking down the beach when their ..

Justin Bieber, Alan Thicke Defecate on American Flag After Canadian Hockey Win

Justin Bieber, Alan Thicke Defecate on American Flag After Canadian Hockey Win

Everyone knows that Canadians are crazy about hockey. But native canuks Justin Bieber and Alan Thicke took their devotion to a disgusting extreme on Sunday night, defecating on an American flag after Canada’s overtime victory in the Olympic gold-medal game. Bieber and Thicke, both obviously intoxicated, were watching the game at The Canadian Tuxedo, a ..

The Gary Busey Guide To Newborn Babies

The Gary Busey Guide To Newborn Babies

Congratulation to Gary Busey and his girlfriend Steffanie Sampson on their new arrival, Luke Sampson Busey. Based on these parenting tips from Gary, we know the kid is in good hands… 1. To avoid SIDS, always place your baby on its back when putting it to bed. To avoid AIDS, wrap your child in latex ..

Science Creates World’s Most Beautiful Woman

Science Creates World’s Most Beautiful Woman

Scientists at the Iranian Institute of Beautology have done it! Using super computers and a program known as “The Photoshop” they were able to construct what the world’s most beautiful woman will look like. Praise be to Allah! The scientists using science took pictures of all the most beautiful female celebrities and then started combining ..

Corky to Star in Spider-Man Reboot

Corky to Star in Spider-Man Reboot

Chris Burke, star of the early 90’s drama “Life Goes On,” is currently the top choice to star in the upcoming reboot of the Spider-Man franchise. An avid Spider-Man fan since childhood, Burke is already getting into character. “You should see how committed he is,” said Burke’s agent Merv Shapiro. “He’s been running around in ..

Alec Baldwin Rushed To Hospital

Alec Baldwin Rushed To Hospital

Alec Baldwin the head chieftain of the Baldwin clan was rushed to the hospital early this morning. The actor’s publisist claims that Alec is fine and that him being rushed to the hospital was a “misunderstanding”. Boy that ambulance driver’s face must be pretty red. Alec just called 911 because he wanted to be rushed ..

John Mayer’s Penis Is A Racist

John Mayer’s Penis Is A Racist

John Mayer’s penis is at the center of a major controversy. When asked if he’d ever get with a black woman during a recent interview with Playboy magazine the singer revealed that, “I don’t think I open myself to it. My d*ck is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and ..