Audrina Patridge Breaks Her Spine While Rollerskating

Audrina Patridge just after she fell and broke her spine.

The harlot known as Audrina Patridge has finally gotten a comeuppance for her sinful ways! Yesterday, “The Hills” star was dressed like a prostitute, parading her supple young body around on roller skates for all to see, when Allah, in his infinite wisdom, answered my prayers and caused her to fall out of the skates and break her spine! Praise be his name!

Many of you will feel sorry for Audrina and her misfortune. Let me assure you that your sympathies are misplaced. The Qur’an clearly states that “women are forbidden from operating sandals equipped with wheels for the purpose of amusement.” Audrina was in clear violation of this rule and is lucky she wasn’t stoned to death.

Here are pictures leading up to the crash followed by a nice shot of Audrina writhing in agony. Enjoy.