Taylor Swift's Mom Swears That Her Daughter "Isn't A Gay"

Taylor Swift’s mom Eleanor came to the defense of her daughter after the “rumor” that Taylor and Victoria’s Secret model Karlie Kloss were lesbians lovers seemed to have been confirmed with the photo below of them passionately kissing at a Sarah McLachlan concert being posted online.

Eleanor Swift invited reporters in for some sweet tea, and explained to them that her beloved Taylor “isn’t a gay”, and that her and Karlie are just “roommates” and “really good friends”. Eleanor then went on to recount the time she dropped in unexpectedly on the apartment in New York City that Taylor and Karlie share, and caught the girls in bed together because, “Karlie has night terrors, and Taylor comforts her by working out the knots Karlie gets in her legs from fancy model walking with a special long vibrating massaging wand”.

Taylor’s mom then produced the photos above of Taylor and Karlie on “one of their girl trips”, and implored, “Do these girls look like sinful sexual degenerates to you?”. Eleanor then added, “Besides, Taylor has dated lots of boys. She just hasn’t found the right one yet”.

Former Taylor Swift “boyfriends” and bastions of male heterosexuality Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Lautner, who both just so happen to have the same agent as her.