Selena Gomez Uses Her Big Boobs To Harbor Illegal Aliens

Selena Gomez went viral yesterday after recording herself sloppily sobbing while lamenting the Great Orange Sultan Trump’s mass deportation of illegal aliens from America… Well apparently Selena has figured out what that “something” is that she can do, as she appears to be using her big bulbous boobs to distract ICE agents and harbor immigrants in what is being called “Sanctuary Titties”.

Of course knowing Selena’s deeply depraved nature, her massive Mexican mammaries are almost certainly not the only sex organs she is using to hide migrants… So we can expect immigration officials to launch a raid of Selena’s snatch and sphincter hole in very near future.

However that is not stopping Trump from forcefully responding to Selena’s defiance of his deportations… For Trump has announced a new executive order targeting Selena, telling reporters…

“Starting immediately, we are placing a bold, America-First 50% tariff on all phallic objects entering Selena Gomez. For too long, America has been taken advantage of by allowing unfettered access to this Hispanic hussy, and that is going to change right now and in a big way. This tariff – and believe me, folks, it’s going to be tremendous – will bring billions of dollars back into this country.”