Lindsay Lohan Is Dead

Celeb Jihad has just confirmed that troubled actress Lindsay Lohan is dead… on the inside.

After years of late night partying, anonymous sex, and drug abuse Lindsay Lohan is now dead inside.

At one time Lohan was a vivacious redhead full of life, but gradually that life has been sucked out of her. Now with her impending incarceration doctors have pronounced Lindsay dead on the inside.

There is still hope for Lohan though. Many women who die on the inside have new exciting opportunities open up for them, and go on to live long meaningless lives. Why the whole adult entertainment industry is full of women who, like Lindsay Lohan, are dead on the inside.

The adult entertainment industry seems to be the perfect fit for the newly dead Lindsay. She can already kind of act, and we know she has had plenty experience pleasuring various men and women.

Yes Lindsay Lohan’s death marks a new and exciting turning point for her career. Now she can take load after load of hot porn star man juice to her face, and not at all be mentally effected. A skill few women possess.

Lindsay has been given a second chance let us hope she takes advantage of it.