America Spends All Its Money at Vegas NYE Bash Blog

America Spends All Its Money at Vegas NYE Bash

As bad as 2009 and 2010 were for America, expect 2011 to be even worse financially. On orders from Barack Obama, the US spent its entire 2011 defense and health care budgets on a giant party at the newly-opened Cosmopolitan Hotel in Las Vegas. While performers Jay-Z, Coldplay, Beyonce, and John Mayer were paid $1 ..

Celebrity Death Pool 2011 Blog

Celebrity Death Pool 2011

2010 was a fantastic year for celebrity deaths with every one from Gary Coleman to the insufferable Jewish actors Corey Haim, and Tony Curtis all meeting their end and rotting in hell. However, a new year has started and that means that Allah willing more celebrities are about to die horrible deaths. We here at ..

Jersey Shore’s Ronnie Is a Fighting Machine We Must Recruit Blog

Jersey Shore’s Ronnie Is a Fighting Machine We Must Recruit

So many of the Jersey Shore cast members have great bodies, but only use them to carry on fornicating with feeble-minded American men and women. Ronnie however, appears to have both the body and spirit of a warrior, something that the Allah faithful could really use these days. Demonstrating Ronnie’s predisposition to fighting is a ..

Jimmy Jihad Reports: Iran Heroically Jails Filmmaker Jafar Panahi for 6 Years Blog

Jimmy Jihad Reports: Iran Heroically Jails Filmmaker Jafar Panahi for 6 Years

Attention all law enforcement officials. The following statement was made under duress and is not an admission of guilt. Yesterday, the Red Cross delivered the following note, written on a piece of used toilet paper, from my client and CelebJihad.com founder, Jibril “Jimmy” Jihad. Three months ago, he was abducted by the CIA, and is ..

“Glee” Cast Gets Tonsillitis Blog

“Glee” Cast Gets Tonsillitis

Praise be to Allah! The cast of the American TV show Glee (known in the Arab world as Singing Demon Variety Hour) have been subjected to a rash of tonsillitis that will delay, but sadly not cancel, tapings of future episodes. While the names of the sick are available on many gossip sites, it’s easier to know ..

Obnoxious Celebrities to Stop Tweeting Blog

Obnoxious Celebrities to Stop Tweeting

That title sounds pretty win-win, doesn’t it? Well, there’s a catch. The celebrities will only stop tweeting until $1 million is raised for Alicia Keys’ charity “Keep a Child Alive.” Celebrities voluntarily giving up social media until this charitable ransom is paid include: Lady GaGa, Justin Timberlake, Usher, Jennifer Hudson, Serena Williams, Elijah Wood, Ryan ..

Bristol Palin Used Prayer During “Dancing with the Stars” Blog

Bristol Palin Used Prayer During “Dancing with the Stars”

Further proving that Americans use God only as a springboard for reality television success and McRib coupons, pagan soul Bristol Palin, daughter of Alaskan mannequin Sarah Palin, recently told People Magazine that “faith and prayer” helped her get through a reality show in which Americans dance to fun music for money. It is shameful to ..

John Travolta Denies Gay Rumors with Straight Face Blog

John Travolta Denies Gay Rumors with Straight Face

John Travolta recently took a break from looking and acting like Mr. Clean to do something Mr. Clean has had to do his entire life – fight gay rumors. Gossip site Gawker posted an excerpt from a book being shopped by openly gay author Robert Randolph in which it claims that Travolta was a fixture ..

American Celebrities Growing Extra Digits Blog

American Celebrities Growing Extra Digits

Ellen Pompeo, who plays a (pfft) woman doctor on the TV show Grey’s Anatomy, has possibly grown an extra digit on her foot in an effort to differentiate herself from the lower castes of American society. Fortunately, the future schism to occur between five-toed and six-toed Americans will result in a fractured populace incapable of ..

David Beckham Shows Off His Junk Blog

David Beckham Shows Off His Junk

Soccer star and homosexual icon David Beckham took off his shorts during a soccer match yesterday, possibly in an effort to attract a male lover. Soccer or football as it is known throughout infidel Europe is the world’s most homosexual “sport”. It involves a bunch of scantily clad men running around like fairies playing grab ..

The Girls From Glee In Their Underwear Blog

The Girls From Glee In Their Underwear

The girls from Fox’s hit show “Glee” posed in their underwear for GQ Magazine. If you are fortunate enough to have never seen the show Glee, then you are far more blessed than me. One particularly cruel nurse at the assisted living care center were I currently reside derives a sadistic joy in inflicting us ..

Hollywood Creates Jew Hybrid For “The Social Network” Blog

Hollywood Creates Jew Hybrid For “The Social Network”

By Muhammad’s beard this is a disturbing development. As you can clearly see in the scientific photo above, Hollywood has created a Jew hybrid to star in the new movie “The Social Network”. This Jew hybrid is a result of combing Jew actor Michael Cera with Jew comedian Andy Sandberg. They call this Jew hybrid ..

Greg Giraldo Will Not Be The Last Comic Standing Blog

Greg Giraldo Will Not Be The Last Comic Standing

Comedian Greg Giraldo died earlier today from an overdose of prescription pills at the tender age of 44. Greg Giraldo died doing what he loved, lying unconscious in a hospital bed after having his stomach pumped. Like all heathen Americans, Giraldo was hooked on prescription pills by the Zionist controlled pharmaceutical industry. Unfortunately it cost ..

Rapper T.I. Caught With Tranny Prostitute Blog

Rapper T.I. Caught With Tranny Prostitute

Habitual criminal and part-time rapper T.I. was arrested with a busted transsexual prostitute and a supply of Zionist drugs. Apparently these drugs fill the already polluted mind of infidels with a burning desire for homosexual deeds. A police report made available to the public clearly states that T.I. and the vile creature were caught “…..in ..

American Idol Fantasia Barrino Can’t Kill Herself Worth a Damn Blog

American Idol Fantasia Barrino Can’t Kill Herself Worth a Damn

See, this is why the rest of the world hates America. You people can’t do anything right. You think you’re so damn superior, but truth be told, Muslim extremists are years ahead of you when it comes to suicide technology. In a scene that can only be described as laughably inept, Fantasia, the former American ..

South Beach Scandal: D-Wade, Chris Bosh Gangbang LeBron’s Mom Blog

South Beach Scandal: D-Wade, Chris Bosh Gangbang LeBron’s Mom

According to anonymous sources close to CelebJihad, Gloria James, NBA groupie and mother of LeBron James, has already taken her “talents” to South Beach when she recently doubled-up on Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh. This shocking story comes only a few months after Gloria banged her son’s former teammate Delonte West in the midst of ..

George Steinbrenner Dead, Yankees Looking To Sign New Owner Blog

George Steinbrenner Dead, Yankees Looking To Sign New Owner

George Steinbrenner, the owner of the New York Yankees died early today from a heart attack. According to reports the Yankees have wasted no time in looking for a replacement to take over George Steinbrenner’s position. Sources within the organization have revealed that the team is actively pursuing a number of owners to replace George ..

LeBron James to Join Team Jacob Blog

LeBron James to Join Team Jacob

LeBron James is joining Team Jacob, and will announce his decision on Thursday night, CelebJihad has confirmed. The decision, which is sure to anger millions of Team Edward supporters, brings to rest the most-hyped free agency period in N.B.A. history. James, a noted Twihard, reportedly made up his mind after attending a midnight viewing of ..