Natalie Portman Conceives a Gay Bastard Child to Promote Homosexuality

Natalie Portman has a gay bastard child in the oven. Apparently, the wretched Zionist was not content with spreading lesbian propaganda via her films, and decided the best course of action was conceiving a child out of wedlock. As the Hadith teaches us, conceiving out of wedlock all but assures the child will be born a homosexual. As if to leave nothing to chance, the father of the child is a French ballet dancer.

As you’ll remember, Natalie started her acting career later in life at the age of thirteen. I can’t help but wonder what might have happened if she would have spent her pre-teen years landing a husband instead of looking for acting gigs. Perhaps she could have avoided the sinful path she is currently on. To be honest, her clan’s elders are equally at fault. I hope they will do the right thing by selling the child into slavery and stoning Natalie in the town square.

The preceding note was from my client and CelebJihad.com founder, Jibril “Jimmy” Jihad, who is currently being interrogated at a secret CIA facility somewhere in Eastern Europe.

Marty Platinum
J.D. Candidate
The Oxnard School of Law and Therapeutic Massage