Obnoxious Celebrities to Stop Tweeting

That title sounds pretty win-win, doesn’t it? Well, there’s a catch. The celebrities will only stop tweeting until $1 million is raised for Alicia Keys’ charity “Keep a Child Alive.” Celebrities voluntarily giving up social media until this charitable ransom is paid include: Lady GaGa, Justin Timberlake, Usher, Jennifer Hudson, Serena Williams, Elijah Wood, Ryan Seacrest and Kim Kardashian.

Damn Alicia Keys for making us choose between the health of impoverished children with AIDS and enjoying the absence of semi-hourly updates from Usher in our lives. That is why, we at Celeb Jihad suggest that someone start a charity identical to Mrs. Keys’, but require that celebrities tweet until it raises 1 million dollars at which time the celebrities will agree to never tweet again… and to commit suicide. The kids get helped, and we never have to hear from Elijah Wood about how much he enjoys the peanut butter from Trader Joe’s.

If you are interested in in donating to the cause, you can click here, but please, spread out your donations. We’d like to make it at least through the week without having to read anything resembling this.