John Travolta Brings Touching And Scientology To Haiti

Haiti’s airport can only handle 130 flights a day. Thank God one of those precious flights was reserved for actor John Travolta.

John Travolta has flown aid supplies to Haiti in his own Boeing 707 to assist his fellow Scientologists already on the ground helping the earthquake victims.

Dressed in yellow T-shirts, Scientologists use a process called ‘assist’ in which the power of touch is said to reconnect nervous systems shaken by trauma. The group is using light ‘touching’, through clothing and bandages, of fractures and infection.

Islam is the one true religion, but I have to hand it to Scientology here. I know if I was badly injured in some sort of catastrophe I’d feel a hell of a lot better if some weirdos in yellow shirts came and started massaging my wounds while telling me about the wonders of “Dianetics”. Peace be upon you John Travolta. May Allah bless your quest to molest every person in Haiti.