Taylor Swift Attacks John Mayer Over Kinky Sex

A few months ago we broke the story that John Mayer was planning on having kinky sex with Taylor Swift. Well it looks as though we were right. John Mayer did all sorts of unspeakable acts to Taylor Swift, and then kicked her to the curb like any self-respecting man would.

Of course Taylor Swift lacks the modesty to keep her affair with John Mayer to herself, and instead has written a song about him. Here is an excerpt from the lyrics,

“Dear John/I see it all now that you’re gone/Don’t you think I was too young/To be messed with/The girl in the dress/Cried the whole way home/I should’ve known.”
“It was wrong/Don’t you think nineteen’s too young/To be played/By your dark, twisted games/When I loved you so.”
“My mother accused me of losing my mind/But I swore I was fine.”
“You’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand/And I’ll look back in regret I ignored what they said/’Run as fast as you can.”

Wow Taylor Swift is sure making a big deal about that one night of ass to mouth f*cking John Mayer gave her. Obviously she loved it, but she needs to move on and not catch feelings for every guy who gets her in bed and takes a dump on her chest.

Taylor Swift needs to stop romanticizing so much, and she’ll be a much happier degenerate Hollywood slut.