Selena Gomez Caught Hooking Up With Some Slob

The candid photo above was snapped moments after Selena Gomez had finished hooking up with sloppy Princeton undergrad Toby Hoffman on the pull-out sofa in his off campus apartment. As you can see Selena’s jeans are still unbuttoned and pulled down, as Toby gestures to Selena with the finger he was just popping her lady holes with.

Toby’s roommate Chris took the photo, and claims that he had been making out with Selena earlier in the night after she surprisingly showed up to their college party looking to get trashed. However, Chris says that he decided not to “smash that” because he did not want to be “eskimo brothers” with Justin Bieber, so he passed Selena Gomez off to his roomie Toby who according to Chris will, “f*ck anything”.

Chris says he has no regrets about not sleeping with the world famous pop star, as Toby made him smell his finger after and the stench from Selena’s residue made him vomit uncontrollably for nearly an hour and question the existence of a loving God.