Rihanna Named The New Queen Of Sheba

The grape drink was flowing like the effects of dysentery as Rihanna and her fellow Africans celebrate her coronation as the new Queen of Sheba.

As you can see in the photos below, Rihanna arrived at her crowning ceremony in the royal Chrysler 300 while in traditional African garb. She then mingled with the common people while making her way to her palatial mud hut were she took her place on a throne made out of chicken bones.

Of course the last 6 Queens of Sheba have all died from contracting AIDS, while the 7th was eaten by a lion (who coincidentally also had AIDS). However, Rihanna remains optimistic that her reign will be a long and fruitful one, reassuring her subjects that in regards to AIDS “ain’t nobody got time for that“.