Rihanna Had Sex With Ashton Kutcher Last Night

Last night pop star Rihanna was seen visiting Ashton Kutcher’s Hollywood Hills home just before midnight. Rihanna later emerged at 4 A.M., jumped into her chauffeured SUV and sped off.

What were Rihanna and Ashton doing alone together in the middle of the night for 4 hours? The answer is clearly that Ashton Kutcher had a late night craving for a roast beef sandwich with a side of HIV, so he called Rihanna up for a booty call.

After Ashton finished pounding her meaty pussy, he probably worked off some frustration by slapping Rihanna around for the next 3 hours and 55 minutes (as it is well known that she can take a punch) before spanking her ass and sending her on her way.