The Top 12 Celebrity Social Media Photos Of The Week

This picture of Gwyneth Paltrow in a bikini is actually pretty hot… that is if you imagine there is a rope around her neck and she is swinging from that tree.

Paris Hilton in a bikini imitating Christ on the cross. A fitting tribute as both Paris and Jesus have had extra holes pounded into them.

Nickelodeon star Jennette McCurdy photographs her hard nipples in a white dress. Either it is really cold in there or Jennette just finished reading the holy Qur’an.

Kendall Jenner shows off her long lean figure in a little black dress (with a lot of black guy spunk stains).

Mudshark Heidi Klum beaches herself and struggles to breathe in the nude photo above.

Sofia Vergara tries to prove that not all Mexicans are good for nothing layabouts by exercising. She then takes a siesta and dreams about being on welfare.

Victoria’s Secret model Alessandra Ambrosio poses with friends in a bikini. This photo looks just like my harem except the girls aren’t in burkas, and their bodies aren’t covered in bruises.

Model Kelly Brook tries to entice a Muslim man to slither his enormous tunic snake up her tit valley.

Former “Making The Band” star and confirmed coal burner slut Aubrey O’Day shows that having HIV is great for weight loss.

“Modern Family” star Sarah Hyland shows off her impish body in a bikini while lifting her butt cheek to silently pass gas.

Paris Hilton demonstrates her black magic whore powers by actually appearing to have decent tits.

Model Emily Ratakowski cleans up a few things in my kitchen in a rare moment of down time from pleasuring my massive Muslim meat scimitar.

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