Lindsay Lohan Addicted to Stank Puss

According to friends close to the “actress”, Lindsay Lohan has fallen off the wagon yet again. Apparently her girlfriend/pusha Samantha Ronson has gotten poor Lindsay hooked on her stank puss. Lindsay is reportedly held up with Ronson at her Hollywood home. Sources report Lindsay hasn’t slept in days and just can’t stop lapping away at Ronson nasty stank puss. They fear for her health and state of mind.

Eating stank puss (also known on the street as dumpster diving, carpet cleaning, rotten oyster shucking, Rosie O’Donnelling) is a serious albeit not widely publicized problem in America. Every year thousands of unsuspecting girls fall victim to this dangerous addiction. Here are some warning signs to look for if you think someone you love may be hooked on the stank puss.

1) Bad grades
2) Smelly fingers
3) Reclusiveness
4) Bad breath
5) Greenish tongue

If you hear someone you care about talking about trying this or exhibiting some of the warning signs please seek help immediately.