Kate Upton's Topless Titties Nearly Get Her Killed

Kate Upton is nearly killed while flaunting her topless titties behind-the-scenes of her Sports Illustrated Swimsuit photo shoot in the video below.

As you can see from this video, Kate and her immodestly massive mammaries feel the righteous wrath of Allah when he sends a mighty wave to punish her for her brazen sluttery. Of course Allah could have easily arranged it so that Kate smashed her head against that rock and was then dragged out to sea by the undertow, but he is a merciful God.

The question Kate must now ask herself is why did Allah spare her worthless life? What higher purpose did he see in her? After viewing the SI swimsuit issue photos below, the answer is quite clear…

… It is Kate’s destiny to serve as a milk maid in the Middle East. For her enormous udders could feed many litters of future jihadist babies.

Then one day when Kate’s teats finally run dry she should smuggle an IED between those bulbous breasts of her’s into a Hollywood award show, and detonate it in gratitude for the clemency Allah granted her during this photo shoot.