Kate Middleton Tells William ‘No More Blowjobs’

As you probably know we here at Celeb Jihad have been following this royal wedding between Prince William and Kate Middleton very closely, and according to our source close to Kate she has told the Prince that in preparation for married life she will no longer be performing oral sex on him.

Kate reportedly broke the news to William late last night saying, “Suck your own prick you wanker, I’ve done become a Princess now, I did.”

No word yet on how Prince William is feeling about this development, but reports are already starting to surface that, on a recommendation from his father, William is searching for an older homely looking woman to serve as his long term “friend”. More on this story as it develops.