Jennifer Love Hewitt Dresses As A School Girl To Recapture Lost Youth

Well this is just sad. 42-year-old unwed shrew Jennifer Love Hewitt was photographed dressed as a school girl in a desperate attempt to recapture her lost youth. Apparently Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks she can still pull off the school girl look despite her weathered face and doughy well-used body.

According to witnesses, everyday at 2:30pm Jennifer Love Hewitt dresses up like a school girl and makes her way over to St. Augustus High School, a local co-ed catholic school in her neighborhood. As the school lets out, Love Hewitt desperately tries to befriend the students. As student Becky Hamilton tells it, “That woman is a freak. She came up to my friends and I babbling something like ‘Isn’t Scott Wolf from Party of Five hella hot?’, we were all like ‘Who the f*ck is Scott Wolf? What is Party of Five?’ so she left.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt is also being quite friendly towards St. Augustus’ male students, according to the school’s star quarterback Chet Armstrong, “That chick is crazy. Everyday she is out here. Sometimes she’ll shout ‘Hey Chet!’ and when I look she’ll giggle and turn away. I don’t even know how she learned my name. She is creeping me out.”

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s antics are also causing concern among the parents. They have contacted the school’s administration and asked that they not allow Jennifer Love Hewitt to loiter on school property anymore. In response school principal Father Thomas released this statement, “St. Augustus is committed to having a safe environment for all our students. In that spirit we are instituting and strictly enforcing a 200 yard no Jennifer Love Hewitt zone around our school.”

Let us hope this is enough to keep Jennifer Love Hewitt’s sad attempts at recapturing her youth at bay.