Jennifer Lopez ‘Booty’ Single Cover

Jennifer Lopez shows off her surprisingly toned and shapely posterior in this photo for the cover of her new aptly titled single “Booty”.

Jennifer Lopez has been able to maintain her impressive ass despite being 45-years-old (or 127-years-old in female Puerto Rican years) by strictly following a three-pronged approach.

First, Jennifer Lopez had her womb removed as a small child, so unlike her Puerto Rican contemporaries Jennifer’s body has not been ravaged from years of having back-alley abortions and shitting bastard kids for welfare. Secondly, Jennifer Lopez drinks a vat of virgin’s blood every night before going to bed while swearing allegiance to her dark lord and master Satan. Thirdly and perhaps most importantly, Jennifer Lopez uses a shit ton of airbrushing and Photoshop on all her pictures. Seriously it is impossible to tell if this is actually a black and white photo or just a pencil drawing.