Carrie Underwood Rips Jews, Catholics During Holiday Special

Carrie Underwood shocked audiences during her “All-Star Holiday Special” Monday night, telling non-Christian viewers they should “change the f**king channel.”

During a profanity-laced opening that had to be edited for west-coast viewers, Underwood said that “you can’t have Christmas without Christ,” and that anyone who disagreed could “take it up with the A.C.L. Jew,” a derogatory reference to the American Civil Liberties Union.

“Where I come from, we say ‘Merry Christmas,’ not f**king ‘Happy Holidays,’ said Underwood while taking a generous swig from a bottle of Early Times Whiskey. “They made me call it an ‘All-Star Special,’ but it’s more like an ‘All Star of David Special.'”

After the vitriolic intro, Underwood launched into the song “Cowboy Casanova,” and the show seemed to return to normal. But near the end of the program, an obviously intoxicated Underwood launched into a second tirade directed at Catholics and Mormons.

“Since when did we start calling Catholics ‘Christians?’ said Underwood. “I can put a saddle on a donkey, but that don’t make it a horse. And just because those Mary worshipers carry around a cross don’t make them Christians.”

Added Underwood, “As for Mormons, f**k them too.”

A representative for Underwood declined comment.