Cameron Diaz Has Expired

As you can see in the photo above, actress Cameron Diaz has clearly passed her expiration date. Like a jug of goat’s milk out in the desert’s noon day sun, or a date left withering on the vine, Cameron Diaz is shriveled, sour, and stinks.

With Cameron Diaz’s reproductive years WELL behind her, and her looks completely gone to hell the only logical thing for her to do is to sacrifice herself for the greater good. Cameron can take comfort in the fact that though her life was completely wasted being a whore and making bad movies, she can still serve a valuable purpose by being turned into fertilizer for next seasons crops.