Randy Quaid and His Wife Arrested; Tackled by Police

Randy Quaid and his wife Evi have been arrested after a struggle with police in Texas, TMZ is reporting. Apparently the arresting officers had to wrestle the couple to the ground. Felony arrest warrants had been issued for the Quaids in Santa Barbara, CA for defrauding the public and conspiracy. They’re accused of profiting from ..

David Hasselhoff’s got talent and alcohol poisoning!

David Hasselhoff’s got talent, if you consider drinking life threatening amounts of vodka and living to tell the tale a “talent”, which we do! It’s been reported that paramedics were called to his home in Encino, CA on Sunday where the America’s Got Talent star had been on a bender for more than a day. ..

Elton John is too old and gay to adopt an AIDS baby

Elton John is too old and gay to adopt an AIDS baby

Despite his wealth and power, there’s still one thing that money can’t buy for Elton John: a Ukrainian AIDS baby. In fact, it would be much easier for Sir Elton to go out and get AIDS than it would be for him to adopt an AIDS infected child. John (pictured left) and his gay lover, ..

Emilio Estevez 10 Minutes With The Vice President

There has been a lot of controversy surrounding my brother, Charlie Sheen’s (real name Carlos Estevez) recent article in which he conducts a fictional 20 minute interview with Barack Obama chastising him for not re-investigating 9/11. As a sign of solidarity with my brother Charlie I have decided to write my own fictional interview with ..

Lisa Loeb Lets Her Baby “Stay”

Remember Lisa Loeb? Us either, but I guess she’s been knocked up by her husband, Roey Hershkovitz (I think he’s Italian). “They’re excited to welcome their first child this winter,” Loeb’s manager told People Magazine. We here at CelebJihad would like to congratulate the happy couple. We’re glad they decided to waive their legal right ..

Inappropriate Movie Laugh Tracks

The “laugh track” has a long and storied history of letting morons know when to laugh. But when paired with the wrong footage, the use of a laugh track becomes highly inappropriate. The Deer Hunter See the rest of the clips at ScreenJunkies.com… Inappropriate Movie Laugh Tracks was last modified: September 4th, 2009 by Jimmy ..

Kevin Federline Fat Jokes

Look at this topless pic of a fat Kevin Federline. Going out in public looking like that he is just asking to be mocked. Here are some Kevin Federline fat jokes.   It is nice to see that K-Fed is finally growing as a person. He should change his name to K-Overfed. Not shown in ..

Jon Gosselin Shops For Kid’s New Mommy

Jon Gosselin continued his tireless search for a new mommy for his 8 small children in Vegas last night, because that is the best place to look. Sources close to Jon say that he is committed to finding a new Mom for his kids ever since the old one became so “annoying” and “unsexy”. The ..

DJ AM Adam Goldstein is Dead

DJ AM Adam Goldstein is Dead

DJ AM born Adam Goldstein is dead at the age of 36. DJ AM was found dead in his New York City apartment with prescription pill bottles by his body. Obviously the cause of death has not been announced yet, but I think it is safe to assume that this is just like the movie ..

Dead Ted Kennedy Jokes

Dead Ted Kennedy Jokes

Ted Kennedy the beloved murdering alcoholic from Massachusetts has died of brain cancer. Let us honor his memory with some dead Ted Kennedy jokes.   What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and Teddy Kennedy? About 2 months of decay! Ted Kennedy has been sober for 12 hours now. Ted Kennedy carries on the tradition of ..

Kobe Bryant’s Secret Girlfriend

This is Amber from Dallas, TX and apparently she is Kobe Bryant’s secret girlfriend. People that know her in Dallas say that Kobe has been banging her for months, sending her sexual texts, and even flew her out to LA for a few Lakers’ games. Amber does look like Kobe’s type, that is to say ..

The Time Traveler’s Awful Wife

Here is a scene from the upcoming sequel to the Time Traveler’s Wife. Enjoy. The Time Traveler’s Awful Wife was last modified: August 19th, 2009 by Jimmy Jihad

“White Chicks” Sequel = Punishment for Slavery

Multiple sources are reporting that the Wayans brothers and Sony Pictures are working on a sequel to the 2004 “comedy,” White Chicks. If this piece of garbage gets made, whites are officially off the hook for slavery. Sitting through another “White Chicks” will be punishment enough, so I don’t want to hear any more from ..

Larry King is Hot

One word comes to mind when I see this pic of Larry King… SEX. Just look at this mofo. He’s got the sunken cheek bones and liver spots that drives the ladies wild. Some people are just genetically blessed I guess. Larry’s lips are all chapped and covered in Vaseline. Probably from kissing all those ..

John Edwards is the Father of His Mistress’s Child

John Edwards, America’s favorite smarmy, phony, sack of s***, hillbilly former Senator is the father of his mistress’s child, the Enquirer is reporting. If true, this will be the second time he has been caught lying to the American public about his extramarital affair. In 2008 he admitted to cheating on his cancer ridden wife, ..

Regis Asks Kate Gosselin: What If Jon Wanted A Three Way?

Call it the case of the optimist vs. the pessimist, with Regis Philbin as Pollyanna, suggesting to Kate Gosselin on Thursday’s Live! With Regis & Kelly that one of these days her estranged husband Jon is going to come home with one of his new 20-something girls and propose a three way. “Now” said Philbin, ..

Jude Law’s Baby Mama Photo Album

Jude Law’s Hooters waitress baby mama Samantha Burke recently released some photos documenting the growth of her meal ticket… I mean baby. Apparently women take these pics and make albums out of them to show their children how giving birth to them mangled their once tight bodies. Celeb Jihad has obtained the full photo album ..