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Team Edward was dealt a tremendous blow today as starting left tackle Laquisha Adams had to be helped off the practice field with what looked like a groin injury. The offensive line was performing blocking drills when Laquisha fell to the ground riving in pain and clutching her “special spot”. Team doctors don’t know the ..
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Well it is getting to be that time of year again when Christians run out and spend money to celebrate the birth of their Jew God. Personally I don’t understand it. If your savior is a Jew shouldn’t you be honoring him by opening up savings accounts and clipping coupons? Anyway a lot of people ..
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Time to call the Undertaker, because sources are reporting that Umaga, the WWE wrestler, has died. Reports indicate that he fell asleep on his couch and never woke up, which is not exactly the death of a warrior. If true, we mourn with his family. Although when it comes to wresting, there is only one ..
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(UPDATE – The Updated 2010 version of the All Criminal Team has found a new home at Holy Taco. We will no longer disgrace our holy site with your brutal pagan sports). NFL players have committed a lot of crimes since 2005’s NFL All-Criminal Team, so the roster is in need of an update. Some ..
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Chuck Lambert, father of “American Idol” runner up Adam Lambert, is not looking forward to Thanksgiving. Sources close to Chuck, a retired union electrician, say that Adam’s recent performance at the American Music Awards has sent him into a tailspin. “Ya see that guy on T.V. prancing around like Elton John and making out with ..
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As hormonally charged teen girls and emotionally stunted women pile into theaters to see the new Twilight movie “New Moon”, the trailer for the next Twilight movie “Vampires In Heat” was just released to the Internet. This movie looks awesome! And by awesome I mean erotic. There is nothing more sexually appealing then a bunch ..
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CelebJihad has just received these exclusive photos of 50 Cent and “Transformers” director Michael Bay picking up some floozies to take on the next available train to Pound Town. Since I am an expert on picking up slutty women at clubs, (I lure them back to my place with promises of sex then when we ..
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What if celebrities were fat? Man has pondered this question for centuries. Luckily we have people like Jessica Simpson and Kelly Clarkson to show us what it looks like when celebs get fat, but that didn’t stop people from Photoshopping other celebrities to see what they would look like fat. Of course they Photoshopped Beyonce ..
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Edi Gathegi, the actor who portrays Laurent the vampire in the Twilight films, has really let himself go. Sources close to the actor say that Gathegi has been distraught since learning that his character was to be killed off in The Twilight Saga: New Moon, which premiers today. “Ever since he found out that Laurent ..
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Breaking news: Years of abusing anabolic steroids and prescription painkillers may be harmful to your health! UFC heavyweight champion Brock “HGH” Lesnar is in serious condition and may be transferred to the Mayo clinic to have “major surgery” according to UFC President Dana White. White went on to say that Brock’s condition is so serious ..
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What if instead of being the immoral, soul sucking, blasphemers that they are, celebrities became their names? Of course it would never happen because celebrities despise a humble pious life dedicated to the glory of Allah. Instead they wish to mock Allah and portray themselves as Gods. However, thanks to the witchcraft of Photoshop we ..
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Clint Eastwood is such a dick tease! Look at him engulfing this banana so sensually. He knows exactly what he is doing to us guys. Clint Eastwood has been setting men’s loins ablaze for years with his seductive snarls, and analogous use of gun play. However now he has gone too far. How am I ..
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BET intends to create a new reality show staring convicted animal abuser and NFL QB Michael Vick, the Los Angeles Times is reporting. According to our sources, the show, tentatively titled Michael Vick: The Dogg Pound, will begin filming at the end of the NFL season. It will chronicle Vick as he performs his court ..
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Richard Ross is the new chief of Walt Disney Studios, and the ghost of Walt Disney is fuming! “Ross, that’s a Jew name,” said the irate specter of Disney speaking through a Ouija board. “I don’t want a heeb running my studio.” Richard Ross is taking the position at a time when both Disney and ..
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It doesn’t open until January, but critics are already talking ‘Oscar’ for Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s latest film, The Tooth Fairy. After watching this new trailer, it’s easy to see why. ‘Best Picture’ is all but assured, and the fact that The Rock, Billy Crystal, and Ashley Judd all star in this cinematic tour de ..
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In a move that is sure to upset the bulk of his elderly viewers, Jay Leno has admitted to having sex with his wife Mavis. “I’m sorry to everyone who I’ve offended or let down,” said a tearful Leno during a press conference on Friday. Reaction from fans was swift, and generally negative. Typical Leno ..
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Back Hair Back hair is never a desirable trait, but if you’ve got it, you’ve got it. Every once in a great while you’ll run into that one guy who says, “Chicks love it man!” Not true. In fact, the only time back hair was ever celebrated was during one of Alec Baldwin’s sex scenes ..
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Did Jay-Z get a nose job. From the comparison picture above it looks like the answer is yes. His surgeon did an excellent job. Now instead of looking exactly like a camel Jay-Z only looks sort of like a camel. It’s remarkable! Next Jay-Z needs to get his lips trimmed down. Those things are monsters, ..
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