Betty White Nude Photos Eulogy

Actress Betty White finally felt Allah’s divine retribution, as he recently smited her in her sleep for her numerous crimes against morality…

For Betty White had been a sex symbol in the heathen Western world for centuries… In fact, history will remember her as the very first viral “hottie” with her pictures being telegraphed throughout the 13 colonies in America. And so to properly commemorate this saucy old slut we have colorized and enhanced her nude photos in the gallery below.

It is easy to see why so many powerful men were drawn to Betty’s beauty and her oversized nipples. For rumor has it that Betty bedded 16 different US President’s, including the famously prude Calvin Coolidge. However, Betty did not just provide pleasures of the flesh she also effected policy. Some of the most beloved US government institutions like the Post Office, Federal Trade Commission, and Applebee’s come from Betty’s brilliant political mind.

Furthermore, during the War of 1812 Betty coined the popular phrase “The only good Canadian is a dead Canadian!”, a rally cry American troops still use to this day. Of course her most venomous verbal attacks were saved for the Asian American community, for after a bitter romantic fallout with an ambassador from Siam, Betty had nothing but contempt for the “filthy yellow rice monkeys” as she use to call them.

There is certainly no denying that Betty White lived an exceptional and deeply depraved life. Let us all take a moment to reflect upon it, and give thanks that she is now burning for all eternity in the Hellfire.