Serena Williams In A Bikini Sets Off Tsunami Alert In Japan

Female? tennis star Serena Williams was photographed at the beach earlier today wearing a skimpy bikini, which caused authorities to sound a tsunami alert in the earthquake riddled nation of Japan some 5000+ miles away.

After seeing this picture of Serena Williams’ bulbous hips and ass, Japanese scientists sounded the alarms fearing that she may enter the Pacific ocean. The corresponding water displacement from such a large mass entering the Pacific would no doubt trigger another set of devastating tsunamis throughout the region.

Japan’s only hope is that Serena, like many products of the “inner city”, has no idea how to swim, and thus has developed an innate fear of water. However, as a people who have long been terrorized my enormous monsters like Serena Williams the Japanese are not getting their hopes up. More on this story as it develops.