Laurence Fishburne Should Have Bought His Daughter That Pony

Troubled over the impending release of his daughter Montana’s sex tape, Laurence Fishburne is expressing regret for not having purchased her a pony on her 11th birthday, CelebJihad has learned.

“If only I would have bought her the god damn horse, maybe she wouldn’t have done this,” a distraught Fishburne told a close friend. “At the time, how was I supposed to know it would lead to her sucking c*** on camera.

While we here at CelebJihad can certainly sympathize with Mr. Fishburne, we feel his sense of guilt is misplaced. If anything, he should regret not raising his daughter in the Islamic faith. Time and time again, we see “Christian” girls prostituting themselves in movies and on the Internet, while virtuous Islamic women stay at home, primping and trimming their beards as they obediently await orders from their husbands.