Will.I.Am Wants to be a Gay Fish

Will.I.Am isn’t content to let Kanye West keep the gay fish all to himself. The Black Eyed Peas singer and all-around queef has made a direct appeal (see video below) to the owner of the Miami Dolphins to let him try out for the team. In his typical douche fashion, Will.I.Am waited until a week before the start of the regular season to make his request.

I’m not sure if Will.I.AM is cut out for the NFL, even if it is with the Gay Fish. On the one hand, he bangs white chicks and has his posse beat up queer bloggers, which is a start. But on the other hand, I’ve never heard of him killing dogs, running over pedestrians, or shooting himself in the leg. Maybe if he lets a crazy 20-year-old girl he met at Dave and Busters shoot him in the head I’ll believe he’s ready for the big leagues. But until then, I’ll just go back to praying for him to get hemorrhoids.