Oprah Winfrey Suffers Extreme Racial Abuse While Shopping

Oprah Winfrey claims that while visiting Zurich Switzerland she suffered extreme racial abuse in a upscale boutique when the clerk refused to let her see a $38,000 handbag.

Little did the clerk know that Oprah is a media mogul who was able to ride the wave of white liberal guilt and affirmative action in the 80’s and 90’s to a billion dollar empire despite being a mediocre talk show host.

Oprah says that she does not hold a grudge against the Swiss (as long as the clerk is fired), and she hopes that one day we can live in a world in which a black person can fly to Switzerland in their private luxury jet for a shopping spree without having their outrageous wealth called into question by bigots.

For her part the store clerk denies that she refused to show the handbag because Oprah is black, but rather because she was worried that Oprah would get chicken grease on it. Adding that she’d be happy to sell Oprah the bag, so that she has a place to put her bananas.