Booty Off: Jennifer Lopez vs Kim Kardashian

This Heavyweight title bout is scheduled for 5 rounds.

In the blue corner, weighing in at 672lbs. With a record of 37 black guys 16 Puerto Ricans and 1 Mexican. Hailing from “the block” New York! Jennifer Lopez’s butt!

And in the red corner, weighing in at 704lbs. With a record of 41 black guys and 4 Mexicans. She looks like she hails from somewhere in the Middle East! Kim Kardashian’s butt!

*Ding *Ding *Ding

Round 1:

Jennifer Lopez starts strong with a solid display of booty. Kardashian’s butt looks lumpy and deflated. If she doesn’t pull herself together soon this could be a short night for Kim.

Winner: Jennifer Lopez’s booty

Round 2:

Wow both women come out wearing strikingly similar outfits. J-Lo’s backside is looking strong once again. While the Kardashian booty looks too large with no clear indication of where the top of her butt begins and her lower back ends.

Winner: Jennifer Lopez’s booty

Round 3:

The ladies break out the panties for this round. Now I’ve seen everything! I have to question J-Lo’s wardrobe choice here. The pink frills hide the shape of her lush behind. Kim seems to have taken my comments from the last round to heart as she displays crack to clearly show were her booty actually begins.

Winner: Kim Kardashian’s booty

Round 4:

Look out folk’s we got a good old fashioned white vs black race war on our hands here. Jennifer’s butt seems to have shrunk this round. I don’t know if this is a defense mechanism because she is around black guys, like a turtle retreating into its shell, but that will definitely cost her. Kim’s booty seems to have finally found its grove and is standing tall.

Winner: Kim Kardashian’s booty

Round 5:

Jennifer puts on a gorgeous display of booty! She really brought the thunder! Kim’s butt looks dazed but it keeps plugging away (like Ray J in her sex tape). A valiant effort to be sure from it tonight.

Winner: Jennifer Lopez’s booty

And the winner and Heavyweight Celebrity Booty Champion of the world! Jennifer Lopez’s butt!